More Like Crap Music

• Matt: you watch fringe?
• Andrew: fringe!
• Andrew: I missed last night
• Andrew: was it on last night?
• Matt: yeah
• Matt: the silver lining of last night's episode is it looks like they're making lance reddick a bigger part of the show now that charlie is dead
• Matt: unless it's a smooth jazz concert, you can never have too much lance reddick
• Andrew: haha
• Andrew: oh man
• Andrew: his music
• Andrew: the best thing ever
• Matt: it should be the score on fringe
• Andrew: I'm sure it's only a matter of time before they do a period flashback episode
• Andrew: and he plays a cabaret singer in nazi germany
• Matt: hahahahaha
• Matt: that would be outstanding

The Bicycle Defense Kit

• Andrew: http://bdk.dirtnail.com/
• Travis: ha
• Andrew: trying to figure out how the jolly rancher works
• Travis: yeah, i hadn't heard of that before
• Andrew: melt it?
• Andrew: or just throw it?
• Andrew: does a werther's originals work?
• Travis: the pennyfarthing defense kit
• Andrew: haha
• Andrew: fits in an oak barrel
• Andrew: wheat paste posters depicting a man on a horse and carriage saying Thou Hast Been An Jerk To An Cyclist This Day
• Travis: haha
• Travis: a fine of thruppence

Fringe Is Retarded, Always

• Gabe: did you watch the most recent fringe?
• Andrew: i think?
• Gabe: it's a week old
• Andrew: yes
• Andrew: hilarious
• Gabe: um
• Gabe: here's a question
• Gabe: a) how come everyone without fail
• Gabe: who sees a demon?
• Gabe: just tries immediately to kill it?
• Andrew: haha
• Andrew: yeah
• Gabe: no one gets scared and runs away?
• Gabe: or curls up?
• Andrew: gabe
• Gabe: and here's another one
• Gabe: if the guy is addicted to dreams because it's like your best dream times a million
• Gabe: what is he geting out of their waking nightmares?
• Andrew: right
• Gabe: and here's another
• Andrew: yeah
• Gabe: what kind of addicition gives you a split personality?
• Andrew: yeah
• Gabe: fucking olivia's bullshit step-father alcoholic jekyl and hyde theory
• Gabe: made me so mad
• Gabe: and i also like
• Gabe: "see how these two handwritings are different? it's the same person"
• Gabe: huh?
• Andrew: haha
• Andrew: yeah
• Andrew: after all their "science"
• Andrew: they use handwritiing analysis
• Andrew: the part about demons is hilarious too
• Andrew: also the cannibal part
• Gabe: right
• Andrew: like if that's a lucid dream
• Andrew: is that how you react when you have a nightmare?
• Andrew: you just kill the shit out of the thing that's bothering you?
• Gabe: also the dying instantly of exhaustion with gray hair?
• Andrew: haha
• Andrew: YES
• Andrew: the gray hair
• Gabe: and also how at tehe end
• Gabe: how the pilot
• Gabe: dreams that he is still flying towards the bridge
• Andrew: yeah
• Gabe: instead of a boat?
• Gabe: that is his dream?
• Gabe: also
• Gabe: i loved when they first showed his photo
• Gabe: and i was like oh, it's a pilot, great
• Gabe: and then it was a PONTOON BOAT PILOT
• Gabe: hahahaha
• Gabe: the world's most common type of pilot
• Andrew: best show
• Gabe: amazing
• Gabe: i wish that show was my dad
• Andrew: well, they probably wouldn't give him budget to make the pilot crash into some skyscraper
• Andrew: because, why the fuck not, just meaninglessly reference 9/11
• all the goddamn time
• Gabe: hahaha
• Gabe: well there was no 9/11
• Andrew: but yeah
• Gabe: it would be funny if
• Gabe: to save the pontoon boat pilot
• Gabe: instead of shooting the server with bullets (duh)
• Gabe: they opened up a rift between the two realities, and he caused another 9/11

• Viacom Health Screening Counselor: Ok, so looking at these numbers, you aren't getting any exercise, right?
• Andrew: No, I get plenty of exercise.
• Viacom Health Screening Counselor: ....
• Viacom Health Screening Counselor: Oh.